What do you worry about?

What do you worry about?

Good question.

Safety. I’ll be alone. I have mace being delivered at some point today. I just received my Road ID bracelet that paramedics can use for contacts and to access medical information on me should I have a serious accident or other medical emergency and be unable to communicate. I’ll be keeping in close touch with a handful of people so that, if something happens, someone knows at least approximately where I was when I was last seen/heard from.

Failing. I’m very worried my knees aren’t going to be up to the task. I’ve worked my PT hard, and I believe I should be okay… but getting unexpectedly sidelined for 6 weeks has me gun-shy. My concern about my health is bordering on “terrified” these days. I don’t know that I’m necessarily terrified to die; I’m terrified to die alone… and without having lived up to my expectations for my life. The number on the scale yesterday was really frightening.

Loneliness. That’s a bigger fear than just this trip. In a lot of ways, I couldn’t be any lonelier than I feel these days… I’m actually hoping that the trip, the blog/social media stuff I’ll be doing, and time to reconnect with friends… I’m hoping that the trip actually helps on that front. But, it’s a fear I always have.

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